If only single men in Singapore live by themselves…

I’m dreaming to be with a guy that has his own Bachelor Pad.
Chances? Make it Fat.
Fat Hope.
Singaporean guys tend to live with their family. Not that it’s a bad thing, especially if it’s driven by traditional family values. But the truth is, there are many Singaporean guys that stay with their family simply because they cannot afford to own or rent an apartment themselves. Sometimes I wonder, is it the traditional values that guys own, or is it the exorbitant housing prices in Singapore that’s pushing for the accommodation dependence? Then again, we can’t blame them – Ladies in Singapore typically can’t afford our spinster bachelorette haven either.
Well, still, it’s good to indulge in a few moments of dreaming every now and then. The idea of a Bachelor Pad is alluring.
Think.
I’m always intriqued by how living with a guy who stays with his parents can actually resemble a good training ground. Some lessons to note:
For Discipline:
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Undergarment is your gun. Keep it on you at all times.
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Uniform includes a decent top that does not scream slut, and a bottom that covers your entire butt cheeks. Walking around the house in just the guy’s shirt is never allowed.
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When the Mum knocks on the room door, stop whatever you are doing. Open the door and greet with fake respect.
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No spontaneous sex in the living room or kitchen when the parents are around.
- Keep the bed tidy – ensure that no condom wrapper is lying around, make sure the bedsheet is always well-tucked and most importantly, recognize that undergarments should be on you and not thrown all over the room.
For Training:
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Learn to conceal audibly. Contain your pleasure moans to less than 45 decibels.
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Learn how to do your shuttle runs in the fastest time possible. You need the skills when the parents suddenly return home and you are fucking everywhere except the bedroom. First run, pick up the clothes. 2nd run, tidy the place up. Third run, dash to the room.
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Learn how to wear your clothes fast. Whether you are at the 69 or missionary position, detach and go.
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Learn to conceal visually. The glow in the face after making out is to be nothing more than the original shade of the face (yes, that means no glow allowed).
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Learn how to make individual and discreet visits to the bathroom. Remember, you need to mask the fact that it is an after-sex shower.
But when your guy finally gets his own Bachelor Pad…
Scrap all these rules. Forget all these training.
It will simply be pleasantly reduced to that F word again..
F for…
Freedom!
It’s ORD, baby.
*Grin*
Enough Said!
We’ll dream about the endless parties, sex and booze until the day it really happens!