At a health check-up…
Doctor: You are not married, right?
Me: No.
Doctor: So I suppose you are not sexually active. Are you?
Me: Yes, I am.
Doctor: Oh, ok.. I.. would suggest for you to do a pap smear.. I can .. do it for you.. if you want. But if you are not comfortable with me.. I would get my lady colleague to do for you. What.. is your preference then?
He started stuttering. God knows why.
Me: I’ll do with the lady doctor then.
Doctor: Ok.. Why not… you go over and lie down? I’ll check if there’s any lumps on your tummy area.
Me: Ok.
The atmosphere was getting awkward. I turned to focus my attention on some random medical posters on the wall as he pressed his hands against various parts of my lower abdomen. At one point in time, he stopped. Thinking it was over, I turned my head back, only to catch him staring at me.
Me: Erm, ya?
Doctor: Oh.. oh. Sorry. You are ok. I don’t feel any lumps. That’s about it then.. I’ll ask my nurses to arrange the lady doctor for you.. since you are not comfortable.. with me doing it for you.. Right?
Sigh. Did I get a shy doctor, or did I get a perverted one?
===========
At Starbucks..
I was sitting in one corner and flipping through a magazine.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed one guy had moved his drinks to the seat next to mine and sat facing me directly.
Him: Excuse Miss, what is the time now?
Me: Huh? <I stared back at the watch on his wrist. His handphone was on the table as well. What is the chance that both clocks spoilt at the same time?>
Him: Time?
Me: 7pm.
I looked down at my magazine immediately after, simply not interested with his tactics. Try something better. Pick-up lines should make logical sense. I have enough brains to know what a watch is for.
Him: Thanks. Do you work around here?
Me: No.
Him: Oh. I thought you work around here. Do you study around here?
Me: No.
Him: So what are you doing here?
Me: Waiting for someone.
Him: Oh. I tell you something. It’s not good to stay here for too long.
Me: Huh? Why?
Him: Oh. Because the traffic is very bad in the CBD area around 10pm.
Me: Huh? Ok. Whatever. Thanks. <Traffic, CBD, 10pm? What nonsense? What kind of topic is this?>
Him: Really. It’s bad traffic.
Me: Ok.
I took out my handphone and began to play with it.
Sensing a weak response from me, he stood up, about to leave.
Him: I’ll make a move first. Remember, don’t stay here for too long. Traffic is bad.
And he gave me a smile and left Starbucks.
*Shudders*
New age pick-up style?
Clumsy people! They need better tacks.
Even though “… everyone wants to be seduced …”
Kisses,
-Amy
Usually I’ll just say “Hi. I’m Jack.” Nothing fanciful.
PS: It’s Serangoon Swimming Complex. (:
Jack, you are absolutely RIGHT.
a simple “Hi, I’m XXX.” ALWAYS work. Nothing cheesy. No lame jokes. And some guys just refused to believe that it’s THAT simple.
hi ms dandy, just happned to chance upon this blog by happenstance. love your interesting and witty repartee.
perhaps the doctor was green to conducting these tests? heh although it sounds so incredulous.
keep up the blogging, the content is fresh, original and who cares about xiaxue when we’ve got a thedandygirl who’s more than superficial lah leh blah
Hello Henry.
I was eh.. refering to some sex blog that I came across recently, which I really do not understand what the attraction is. Ay. Let’s not talk about it. Don’t want to further heighten its popularity. Heh. *Evil Grin*
Thanks for your support.
And erm.. I wasn’t refering to Xiaxue in my tweet actually.. I don’t want to be the next one that starts a blog war with her ‘coz I do enjoy reading her blog actually.
haha, which, if you would divulge? neighbourhood sex blogs are over-rated la…too graphic and unintellectual, too explicit and blase sexual discourse. blogs like garyng are so lacklustre that it bores me, tbh.
fawning flattery aside, i love the simplistic, yet seductive look of your blog, and you happen to have a gothic, cerebral outlook towards sex, emotions and your daily life, which is really interesting….because i have a weakness for intellect ;b
Can’t divulge here… I’m still an angel in disguise. (Yeah Right). Alternatively, you can email me a list and then I can tell you if it’s within your list of over-rated blogs. Lol. But really, it’s not worth wasting time on them.
LOL.
I know which you had in mind when u tweeted that
haha.
agreed.
(reply to your tweet recent)
God damn it.. Is it that obvious??? :p
cos i felt the same way too.. somewhat…
bland
oooo… Hi five, babe.
haha im so curiously left in the lurch! enlighten me? hgal? ;p
Shhh.. the big brothers are looking… LOL.
I was thinking the guy want to offer you a ride home because he keep saying traffic and i guess shenton way have the most notorious cab problem. It rather lame way to start a darn. Could have went straight to the point…… “hey your place or mine”
Acid,
Bad traffic, 10pm, friday night? Not very logical to start with. If it’s not CBD but say, orchard road, then there is at least some truth in it. LOL.
ROFL well i recall quite long time back there was complaint about cabs not responding to street flat down only respond to dial a cab. Anyway that was like donkey years back. Most important about the whole thing he just plain lame to use traffic to pick u up………
He could have just use Jack method or cut straight to the chase. “You place or mine” ROFL “Slow and steady or Fast and Furious”
Right right..
Maybe it’s good for guys to share how girls pick them up too. Aggressive or subtle? Lol. Jack? Ecstacy?
Worst pickup line ever. He didn’t have a proper follow up which made it worse. And some girls slam guys for reading pickup artist material to prevent these situations. The irony.
I get both worlds it’s either “Lets meet up” I don’t have to elaborate that one lol. Or it’s subtle ongoing flirting which I enjoy coz it’s just plain fun!
Yeah.. Pick-up lines are seriously overhyped! Simple one works well enough. And ongoing flirting is always the sweetest!
it depends on the girl very much i suppose.. some like it cheesy with slight sense of humour, some likes it sweet and simple, like u! and i believe the nurse has to be in the room when he’s attempting to touch u actually if the doc didn’t, he probably has a motive or just green.
Well.. Green is obviously… bullshit. LOL.
well.. as what forest gump would say.. stupid as a stupid does. so.. mayb the doc is just stupid facing a teasy girl lol.. not quite used to it since he might be geeky haha..