Bits and Pieces

I have a very handsome locksmith.

That day he came over to my place to change the lock, I was wondering if the door can be perpetually jammed when we are both INSIDE the house.

I’m lacking such real-life fantasy in my life.

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There’s a cute waiter at an Chinese eatery that’s a stone throw away from my place.

He recommended me some food and I agreed to it immediately, even though I didn’t catch what he was saying at all. I was distracted by his looks.

Turned out, I had actually ordered a big bowl of noodles with nothing but pork LIVER inside. A few pieces is ok, but it was a bowl full of pork liver. Probably 20 pieces. I swear that I could actually taste blood in the soup.

But well, the boy noodle was really good. 

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I saw Mr. you-don’t-want-to-fuck-a-pair-of-chopsticks in the gym a few hours back. I was standing right behind him and I can’t help staring at his legs. Chopsticks. Absofuckinglutely.

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Craig’s been giving me silly nonsense.

Him: Can I celebrate your birthday with you?

Me: It’s damn far away. I don’t celebrate birthdays anyway.

Him: Oh yes, you did. Previous years, other people celebrated with you.

Me: Yeah. But that’s because they wanted to. I didn’t ask for it. I’m not big on birthdays.

Him: I will want to celebrate with you if you want.

Me: Oh ok. Then I don’t want.

Him: Roger that. Can I then get you a gift?

Me: Sure. Up to you.

Dinners and drinks get me fat. Gifts are always ok. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m materialistic. That is, to all other guys except the one I’m attached to. I can’t find a reason to be nice. If there are free diamonds, why not? Bring it on. Willing parties. Actually, I prefer cash.