Bachelor Pad

by The Dandy Gal Posted on July 1, 2009

If only single men in Singapore live by themselves…

 

Bachelor Pad

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

I’m dreaming to be with a guy that has his own Bachelor Pad. 

Chances? Make it Fat.

Fat Hope.

Singaporean guys tend to live with their family. Not that it’s a bad thing, especially if it’s driven by traditional family values. But the truth is, there are many Singaporean guys that stay with their family simply because they cannot afford to own or rent an apartment themselves. Sometimes I wonder, is it the traditional values that guys own, or is it the exorbitant housing prices in Singapore that’s pushing for the accommodation dependence? Then again, we can’t blame them – Ladies in Singapore typically can’t afford our spinster bachelorette haven either.

Well, still, it’s good to indulge in a few moments of dreaming every now and then. The idea of a Bachelor Pad is alluring.

Think.

I’m always intriqued by how living with a guy who stays with his parents can actually resemble a good training ground. Some lessons to note:

For Discipline:

  1. Undergarment is your gun. Keep it on you at all times.
  2. Uniform includes a decent top that does not scream slut,  and a bottom that covers your entire butt cheeks. Walking around the house in just the guy’s shirt is never allowed.
  3. When the Mum knocks on the room door, stop whatever you are doing. Open the door and greet with fake respect.
  4. No spontaneous sex in the living room or kitchen when the parents are around.
  5. Keep the bed tidy – ensure that no condom wrapper is lying around, make sure the bedsheet is always well-tucked and most importantly, recognize that undergarments should be on you and not thrown all over the room.

For Training:

  1. Learn to conceal audibly. Contain your pleasure moans to less than 45 decibels.
  2. Learn how to do your shuttle runs in the fastest time possible. You need the skills when the parents suddenly return home and you are fucking everywhere except the bedroom. First run, pick up the clothes. 2nd run, tidy the place up. Third run, dash to the room.
  3. Learn how to wear your clothes fast. Whether you are at the 69 or missionary position, detach and go.
  4. Learn to conceal visually. The glow in the face after making out is to be nothing more than the original shade of the face (yes, that means no glow allowed).
  5. Learn how to make individual and discreet visits to  the bathroom. Remember, you need to mask the fact that it is an after-sex shower. 

But when your guy finally gets his own Bachelor Pad…

Scrap all these rules. Forget all these training.

It will simply be pleasantly reduced to that F word again..

F for…

Freedom!

It’s ORD, baby.

*Grin*

Enough Said!

We’ll dream about the endless parties, sex and booze until the day it really happens!

 

Posted in http://thedandygal.com | Tagged bachelor, bachelor pad, men, relationship, sex, women | Leave a comment

Equality… Not.

by The Dandy Gal Posted on June 30, 2009

Don’t ask for equality between the genders.

Especially Ladies. Don’t ask for it.

If there’s equality, there’s no more privileges.

Think about it.

We still want men to open doors for us.

We still want men to help us with our seats or even give up their seats for us.

We still want men to help us carry our grocery bags.

We still want men to fix our broken furniture and equipment.

We still want men to bring out the trash.  

We still want men to chauffeur us around.

We still want men to pay for meals and drinks.

We still want men to give us their arms especially when we are wearing high heels on uneven grounds.

And within all ladies, I guess…

We really still want men to be the heroes that save us from our sorrows.

The list can go on. There are just so many things that men can do for us which will bring big smiles to our faces. Not that we can’t do it on our own, but you know, it’s called… privileges.

Why ask for equality then?

 

Equality... Not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Men and women are created to complement each other.

Not to be identical.

Not to be equal.

Posted in http://thedandygal.com | Tagged dating, equality, gender, men, relationship, women | 1 Comment

Fuck You

by The Dandy Gal Posted on June 28, 2009

Do watch this. The song is awesome. The video is cute.

 

 

In fact, I love her albums. Plenty of attitude, yet in a subtle manner.  

Check out some parts of the lyrics for another of her song, Not Fair.

“There’s just one thing that’s getting in the way
When we go up to bed you’re just no good
Its such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and its apparent it’s all over”

“It’s not fair
And I think you’re really mean
I think you’re really mean
I think you’re really mean
Oh you’re supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream”

“Oh I lie here in the wet patch
In the middle of the bed
I’m feeling pretty damn hard done by
I spent ages giving head
Then I remember all the nice things that you ever said to me
Maybe I’m just overreacting maybe you’re the one for me”

It’s a slick way of putting across premature ejaculation, agree?

Lily Allen is good.

Posted in http://thedandygal.com | Tagged fuck you, lily allen, music, music video, premature ejaculation | 1 Comment

On the Phone

by The Dandy Gal Posted on June 28, 2009

Have you wondered what people do while they are talking to you on the phone?

 

On the Phone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were just beginning on the missionary position when his phone rang. And he just had to pick it because he had “something important” to discuss with his business partner.

Now, in this kind of situations, girls will normally get mad at the revelation of her importance.

Why do you have to take calls at this time?

My dear, there’s no time for silly attention-seeking games. Grab the opportunity.

Give him a blow job.

Make him fuck you even when he is on the call.

Go through all sorts of sexual positions with him.

Watch him get all distracted because of you.

Catch him disguise his moans and heavy breathing.

There’s plenty to do. No time for sulkers. No time for cry-babies.

And so I did.

I licked his balls.

I rode him – cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and sideways.

I made him fuck me on his knees in an assortment of positions. The moment his panting starts to get audibly obvious, he would lay back to rest and I would ride him again.

The cycle continued  while his business partner was still on the other end of the phone line. Threesome, yet not. Exhibitionist, yet not. Undeniably kinky.  On hindsight, I probably should have been more daring to just let out a few moans out and see what it brings us from there. Sigh!

By the long phone call ended, I was already flat on the bed, recharging for the next round. He wasted no time at all in getting me to be on all fours again and gave me the powerful doggy thrusts that I had requested much earlier in the night. Neat.

Now, the next time you pick a call, listen carefully to any abnormalities. You may be part of a sexual thrill.

Posted in http://thedandygal.com | Tagged blowjob, business, calls, cowgirl, doggy, fuck, fuck on knees, missionary, phone, reverse cowgirl, sex, sideways | Leave a comment

The Doggy

by The Dandy Gal Posted on June 26, 2009

position The Doggy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m horny right now and I am craving to be fucked from behind.

I want to be subdued. Badly.

Can I request for my hands to be tied as well?

I love Fridays - It is the start of a fucking weekend, literally. Probably that’s why it’s the only day that starts with ‘F” and is deliberately put together with the 2 “S’es days.

Fuck, more Sex and then Sleep.

Posted in http://thedandygal.com | Tagged doggy, karma sutra, sex, sex positions | 1 Comment